The Ultimate Guide to Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
Reciting your wedding vows is such an important life moment. You’re making your forever promises and declarations to your partner after all. When all is said and done, the vows are really the most important part of the day as from that moment on, you take the leap into married life. So why not write your own vows!? Writing your own wedding vows really is worth it, it’s personal and allows you to share your love story and makes your wedding ceremony completely unique and special.
You want your wedding vows to feel personal and to encompass all the feelings and emotion you feel about getting married to the love of your life. Sometimes pre-set vows don’t do this for some couples. This is where we’re here to help you write your own vows that will express exactly how you and your partner feel about each other and prepare you for the journey of married life together! Here’s an example of how powerful wedding vows are and how they can be used as the backbone of your wedding film.
Ria + Innes | A Perthshire Elopement
Things to Consider
Before you and your partner start writing your vows you might want to go over a few things together just to make sure you’re on the same page:
The length of your vows: Chat to your partner about how long to make your vows, it’s best if they’re equal in length. After all, you don’t want one person to end up spilling their love for pages when someone else writes a couple of lines.
Will you share any inside jokes or keep things surface level? Are you guys open to your inside jokes and moments or would you rather keep some things private? Make sure you discuss this beforehand as if there are any stories you want to be kept private make sure both of you are aware of them!
Will they be full of humour or sentimental statements? Or both?! Maybe you’re a couple full of humour who want this to be reflected in your vows, or perhaps it’s time to crank up the cheese level a bit just for one day.
Do you want to incorporate elements of traditional vows at all? You might not want to completely stray away from the traditional vows completely. You can use them as a springboard to add your own vows. We’ve got a range of examples later on for you to work from.
Wedding Vow Tips
Don’t leave it until the last minute
As with anything, organisation is key and it’s best to start early. The more time you have the more you can play around with your vows and really get them exactly how you want them to be. Don’t leave it until a week before the big day or you’ll feel stressed and disappointed in yourself as you won’t have worked out exactly what you want to say.
Make a BIG list
Sit down and just start scribbling everything on paper - favourite memories and moments, things that remind you of your partner, special dates, the things you love about them, the moment you first met - use this as a base of ideas to frame your vows around.
You might find that there are a few key moments or things you want to frame your vows around that will really hit home and help you explain how much your partner means to you.
Write a couple of drafts first
As with anything, the first version is always the worst and the more you rework something, the better it gets. Make sure you write a couple of versions so you can get your wedding vows exactly how you want them to be.
Embrace the sentimental
If you’re going to be sentimental at any point in your life, your wedding day is most certainly the day to do that. Don’t be afraid to turn up the cheese dial slightly and really hit home about how much you love and care for each other. Today is the day to write from the heart.
Make your promises
Promise to always catch the spiders? Or bring your partner a cup of coffee everyday? Always be a shoulder to cry on? Any of the little things that really matter to your partner, make sure they know you’ll always be there.
Read books, songs and watch movies
Not born a writer? Fear not, the best ideas come from inspiration and tweaking things to make it your own. Use this as an excuse to watch lots of movies, read lots of books and borrow those lines that grab you the most to show your partner how much they really mean to you.
Practice reading your vows out loud
Once you’ve written your vows, practice reading them out loud. Sometimes reading sentences aloud can make you aware of any sentences that need rejigging and rewording and you can make sure everything comes across in the way you want your partner to hear. It’ll also help on your big day if you do have any nerves as you’ll have practised and been through them a couple of times.
Get a friend to listen
Grab a close friend and get them to listen to your vows. A fresh pair of ears can tell you exactly what they think and help you get the message across exactly how you want it to.
Approve your vows with your registrar or celebrant
Feel like your vows are ready?! Email them to your registrar or celebrant so they can see what tone and vibe you’re going for with your vows. They’ll see what type of people you are and want to match this atmosphere.
Now, keep them a secret until the big day
Make sure your final copy is printed on fresh paper and you’re ready to go but make sure you keep your vows a secret, these are lifelong promises you’re making to your partner for your wedding day so it’s important to keep them a secret for the ceremony. It’ll make it all the more impactful and meaningful when you hear them for the first time.
Wedding Vow Ideas
Need some inspiration we’ve got some examples of traditional and modern wedding vows right here for you:
Traditional
Church Of England
Vows: I [Name] take you [Name] to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.
Exchange of rings: [Name] I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Catholic Wedding Vows
Vows: I [Name] take you [Name] to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.
Exchange of rings: In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, take and wear this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.
Civil Ceremony Wedding Vows
Traditional vows: I call upon these persons here present, to witness that I [Name] do take thee [Name] to be my lawful wedded wife/husband.
Modern vows: I [Name] take you [Name] to be my wedded wife/husband.
These may be slightly extended, eg: I call upon these persons here present, to witness that I [Name] do take thee [Name] to be my lawful wedded wife/husband, to be loving, faithful and loyal to thee in living our married life together.
Exchange of rings – traditional vows: I give you this ring as a symbol of our love. All that I am I give to you. All that I have I share with you. I promise to love you, to be faithful and loyal, in good times and bad. May this ring remind you always of the words we have spoken today.
Exchange of rings – modern vows: I give you this ring as a sign of our love, trust and marriage. I promise to care for you above all others, to give you my love, friendship and support, and to respect and cherish you throughout our life together.
Movie/ Book Inspired Wedding Vows
Friends: Monica and Chandler
Monica: For so long I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soulmate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are, with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soulmate, my friend. Unless you don't want to. You go!
Chandler: I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down the aisle, I realised how simple it was. I love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.
The Vow: Paige and Leo
Paige: I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not. To agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.
Leo: I vow to fiercely love you in all of your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.
Want to remember your vows forever? Make sure you’re got a wedding photographer and videographer to capture that beautiful once in a lifetime moment that you can look back on forever. Take a look at some of the amazing love stories we’ve captured
